TV’s Terrible Tunemakers
Kylie Minogue, Zooey Deschanel, Juliette Lewis… there’s nothing to say that actors can’t successfully cross over onto the airwaves. But while some TV stars have impressed us with their tuneful talents, most of them should’ve stuck to their day job – even if their failed forays into the music industry have provided us with many a hearty laugh. Don’t take our word for it though; have a listen for yourself!
Known for: The Wire, Luther
If you thought Idris Elba was the definition of cool, prepare to have your worldview turned upside down by the very uncool music video for his embarrassing single, ‘Private Garden’. Or for something even worse, try listening to the song ‘Sex In Your Dreams’ – replete with lyrics like “Dick as thick as homemade butter” – all the way through. TMI, Idris.. TMI.
Known for: Knight Rider, Baywatch, Hoff The Record
With an astounding 18 studio albums under his lifebelt, The Hoff has had numerous Number 1 hits in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. Elsewhere, his records have best served as a vessel for some of the most incredible cover art we’ve ever seen, and brought us such mind-melting videos as ‘Jump In My Car’ and ‘True Survivor’.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Known for: Party of Five, Ghost Whisperer
Back in the day, this ‘other JLo’ proved she was just as bad at singing as she is at acting. On top of the inappropriately titled album ‘Let’s Go Bang’ she released at the tender age of sixteen, Love Hewitt’s four studio albums include such songs as “Hey Everybody”, “(Our Love) Don’t Throw It All Away” and “How Do I Deal”. Can’t deal.
Known for: Keeping Up With the Kardashians, breaking the internet
2010 saw the lovely Kim record her own single with R&B producer The-Dream, who has cowritten such smash hits as Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’, Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’ and Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’. Unfortunately The-Dream couldn’t work his magic on the reality star, and Kardashian later revealed in a 2014 interview that recording the song was the biggest regret in her life. Now that’s saying something..
Known for: Star Trek, Boston Legal
Believe it or not, none of these covers are parodies. However, Shatner’s ‘unique’ style of spoken-word singing, described by himself as ‘an acting performance from the perspective of an LSD user’ has been much parodied. George Clooney went as far as to choose a William Shatner album as one of his Desert Island Discs, explaining “If you listen to it, you will hollow out your own leg and make a canoe out of it to get off this island”.
Known for: Star Trek
Unlike his Trekkie pal Captain Kirk, Spock made a number of critically acclaimed yet popularly underrated records in his time. With a voice reminiscent of Leonard Cohen and a style blending traditional folk standards with science fiction themes, albums such as The Touch of Leonard Nimoy (1969) are artistic triumphs, and deserve an honourable mention here.
Known for: The Sopranos
Back in 2001, Jamie Lynn S. took after her namesake’s sister by releasing this truly awful Britney Spears-inspired album. To be fair, its lead single ‘Cry Baby’ is pretty damn catchy. And there’s even a track on there named after Tony Soprano’s strip joint, ‘Bada Bing’.
Known for: Charmed, Who’s The Boss?
Although painfully unnoticed in the western world, teenage Alyssa Milano’s music was a massive hit in Japan, where she became a multi-platinum selling artist. Obviously the Japanese have better taste than all of us, as songs such as ‘Look In My Heart’ are pure 80s pop genius.